A vast number of people will try and make things worse for you and confuse your cause with that of a militant communist lesbian (a valid cause, nonetheless, but not the one us feminists fight for). They will make you so angry you just want to go mental and get all stabby. But you do not, for you are an intelligent feminist who can calmly rationalise her arguments - except when you're drunk and screaming 'POWER TO DA PUSSAAAY'.
I've written a list of these people for your awareness, as they may take you by surprise. Remember, y'all misogynists are everywhere!
- The guy who goes 'huh huh huh, so how come you expect men to pay the bill... WELL?!?!' like he's made some kind of journal-worthy point that no arsehole has ever made before. Just tell this guy that HE is always expected to pay the bill as a gift to that woman as SHE has had to put up with his poor banter for a considerable amount of time. The subtle nuances of a relationship tend to be worked out by two people. Personally, I like to go dutch as I feel weird about being paid for by someone who probably doesn't know me very well. Regardless, this argument is the same as saying 'why do I always have to be big spoon in bed'. It's pretty pointless and irrelevant.
- The girl who tells you you're letting down the team, and that feminism is boring. All I have to say to these girls is good luck in all their future endeavours. If only someone had said to Mandela 'dude, civil rights is so boring, chill out get a mani/pedi, you look so unattractive in those prison clothes'. If you talk about it all the time, yeah it probably is boring. Same way if you CONSTANTLY talk about Phish Food ice cream or a really cute cat or any other good things they'll become boring. I like a lambrini and a mini-dress as much as the next lass - I just happen to value myself - so I don't get too worked up on comments from girls who like to get their heads pushed down during blow jobs.
- Biological determinists. Breaking out the big words now, yo. These people will tell you that since the dawn of time men have done certain things and women have done certain things and it's all because of biology and certainly nothing to do with thousands of years of oppression. So really, us wenches should all get back to scrubbing the decks and ironing shirts and having the dinner ready for our husband's return. Fuck. Dat. Shit. Women have proved time and time again that they are able to do all of the things men can do but people still bring up the fact that women are 'motherly' and 'caring' and any other word which basically means fluffy. Many women do have these qualities - it's great to be sweet - but that doesn't mean they aren't also strong, capable, logical and clever. Christ, just look at how Mulan fooled all those Chinese army guys!
- This is one which basically confounds me. Women who say to you 'yeah right on, but tbh it's just not for me this whole feminism lark'. O rly? Is equality a bit too radical for you? To be a woman and not a feminist is like a meerkat just opting out of doing that cute little lookout thing. That's the real letting down the team. Being a feminist isn't the same as being a Jehovah's Witness. You don't have to go round the doors telling people to 'join up'. You just are. If someone abuses you or puts you down or short-changes you because you're a woman you just say no. Simples (as a true team player once said).
There are many more people who will try to wee on your feminist cornflakes. My advice is just to eat the cornflakes and smile sweetly which trying to keep down their fetid urine - metaphorically OBV! So, as if life wasn't already a constant struggle not to physically hurt others it gets worse. I just like to pretend I'm Danny DeVito in Matilda and go "I'm right you're wrong! And there ain't nothin' you can do about it!" I actually like to pretend I'm Danny DeVito a lot. Maybe I should get that seen to.
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